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My Jugular Hurts

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How do you get your message heard? 

Some people write emails.

Some people cry.

Some people text.

And other people yell and attack your jugular.

I had the pleasure this weekend to experience the latter.  Every 3rd Saturday, I have a weekend class – BADM 772 The Changing Environments of Business.  This last Saturday was our last class, and thank goodness for that!  We had a substitute who shall not be named who had a teaching style that I may or may not have agreed with.  Here’s why:

  1. His goal was to make us feel uncomfortable in class (he succeeded)
  2. He talked about himself 50% of the time
  3. He disagreed with anything we would say by saying “You’re wrong, here’s why…” (how can I be wrong on my feelings about my future?)
  4. He didn’t agree with mixing our personal goals with our professional goals
  5. He attacked my jugular

The funny part about our class on Saturday is that the lecture really focused on communication styles.

Let me re-phrase that – The teacher who yelled at me and attacked my jugular focused his lecture on how to communicate with people.

When my answer that I provided wasn’t up to par with his expectations, the teacher interrogated me in front of the entire class questioning my answer and probing for a deeper meaning that I was unable to provide.  He then proceeded to talk about communication styles and used me as an example by attacking my “jugular.”  Yes.  That is what he said.

It is my personal opinion that any leader can communicate.  A GREAT leader can adapt his/her communication styles toward their audience.  My substitute teacher was unable to do this.

Another one of the women in the class mentioned how perturbed she was by the entire situation, and she also wrote a blog post about the same topic.  Check out Kelley Wong’s blog post!

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5 responses »

  1. ashleyturney

    Love this! I couldn’t hold it together when I saw Kelly’s post either! I’m glad your jugular has properly healed…I hope! We will chalk it up to experience. I guess. 😉 Still proud of you for standing up to him, which was difficult to say the least!

    Reply
  2. “You’re wrong, here’s why…” is never an effective opening for anything even IF the person actually is wrong. It sounds to me like the substitute needed to focus on persuasive speaking rather than straight up communication. Starting off like that immediately puts people on the defensive.

    If someone was actually wrong, or if you simply believe yourself to be correct, perhaps try approaching it with something like, “Really? I could have sworn it was this other way.” Then you may politely question the other person as to why they believe X or Y. It gives you both a forum which to go back and forth to research and reach the correct solution whomever is ultimately correct.

    Part of being an adult is being able to calmly and politely accept your mistakes. Unfortunately, many never grow up in that regard.

    Reply
    • You’re very correct! Part of being an adult is the ability to admit you may have been wrong and to apologize. Some people just don’t understand how to listen to the opinions of others. Urgh.

      Reply
  3. Pingback: Act like a man « Ashley Cray

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